Steps to Release Competition from Your Relationship
Signs of Competition in Your Relationship
Do you feel insecure or angry when your partner achieves something personal?
When they share an accomplishment, do you rush to respond with one of your own?
Do you feel the urge to overshadow them in different situations?
When they don’t achieve a desired outcome, do you secretly feel pleased?
Competitive behavior can have two effects: it may either motivate someone to grow or hold them back, depending on how they’ve been conditioned to view competition. In a romantic relationship, however, competition is rarely constructive. Over time, it drives couples apart, causing partners to seek admiration and appreciation elsewhere.
Research by Romero-Medina (2001) found that people who feel competitive toward their partner are 37% less likely to feel satisfied in their relationship.
Why see your partner as a rival or feel the need to “win” against them? Competition in a relationship often stems from insecurity and the need to boost self-esteem. A person who feels confident in themselves recognizes their own talents and grows at their own pace without comparing or competing with others.
How can you increase satisfaction in your relationship by letting go of competitive behaviors?
- 7 Steps to Release Competition from Your Relationship
- Acknowledge your competitive behavior with the intention to change it.
- When you feel competitive, ask yourself, “What am I afraid of?” and respond to that fear in an empowering way.
- Adopt the belief: “Everyone has their own talents and is unique, so I have the opportunity to complement my partner.”
- Focus on your own growth and goals, independent of your partner’s progress.
- Start operating as a team with your partner by setting shared goals and embracing the mindset that together you can achieve more.
- Celebrate your partner’s successes sincerely, and notice how this positivity returns to you.
- Strengthen your self-esteem through any form of personal development you choose.
- True happiness and satisfaction in a relationship comes when you genuinely rejoice in your partner’s joy, express that joy openly, and wish them the best from your heart.